How Much is Too Much?
Response to "Tense Times at Bronxville High," NY Times, Sept. 30

The super-achievers from Bronxville High are a part of a generation of kids willing to leave behind the slovenly ways of adolescence in favor of a jump-start into adulthood. Good for them.

It appears to be in vogue to write about the anxiety-neuroses-inducing competition to get into selective colleges by showcasing the near perfect students who are at the top of their class, and great leaders and musicians to boot. We are shocked to read in these articles about their rejections, and are relieved when they are accepted. They are children after all, and deserve our applause.

I am in awe that these child-adults were already playing politics as early as tenth grade as they schemed to make relationships and garner recommendations in their quest for college acceptance and scholarship. And I am disheartened to recognize that it was necessary.

But my sympathy is for the rest of the student population not wired for the intensity illustrated in The Times article, but who are forced into this college admissions madness as selectivity becomes the name of the game and more students reach for the prize.

College admissions is a very enticing enterprise for bright children and their parents who are easily intoxicated by the very notion that the student qualifies to compete against their intellectual equals.

It results in a kind of madness that we seem all too willing to embrace while acting shocked. At my son’s school, the counselors warn the students that college isn’t a prize but a match, but then discuss the importance of a “resume” that includes not only honors and A.P. coursework, but proof of community service and leadership as well.

If you have the academic part down, but you’re not a leader, what then? And if you haven’t evolved out of childhood enough to engage in meaningful community service? What then? Will the gatekeepers really keep you out?

Parents are neurotic because the message we hear is that our high potential kids have to be nearly perfect in order to find a college match.

Most worrisome of course is just how far parents, students, and admissions directors will let this go. When will it be okay for a bright high school senior to admit to enjoying lounging on the couch, playing a video game after school instead of heading off to his next commitment? When will it be okay to spend three hours doing homework and then call it a day in order to have time for daydreaming, reading a book, or drawing cartoons?

Colleges must take some responsibility by retooling their marketing efforts to better reflect an interest in humanity over their brand position. And parents need to watch that their kids are not sucked into the abyss that robs them of their rightful claim to an adolescence of pleasure found in leisure as well as learning.
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